I'm now a "pop culture expert" in Canada...
"...But if the aim is to create more interest in Archie, celebrity pop-culture expert Mark Ebner says the comic's writers should do what many celebrities do when they fall too far from the limelight: offer a sex scandal."Like all men who grew up along with Archie himself secretly pleasuring ourselves to the fantasy of a roll in the hay with Veronica, I'm outraged over the carrot-topped character's betrothal to the bad girl, for the simple reason that it kills off the furtherance of such a juicy adolescent fantasy," says Mark Ebner, New York Times bestselling author of Six Degrees of Paris Hilton and Hollywood, Interrupted.
"Beyond that, Archie's pick is all too obvious. And it lacks future storyline possibilities."
Ebner, who has gone undercover to report crime in Hollywood for Rolling Stone, Salon.com and Spy Magazine, recently reported a real-life, good-girl-bad-girl love triangle on pop culture website Gawker. Involving a sex tape, Eric Dane of Grey's Anatomy, his wife and a former Miss Teen America, the story has had 1.5 million hits on the website so far.
"In real life, McSteamy married the good girl, former Noxzema skin cream model Rebecca Gayheart, but in the classic good-girl-gone-bad scenario, Gayheart inevitably gets caught up in multiple drug and sex scandals," says Ebner, tongue half in cheek.
"Now, to make the leap. Picture the possibilities of Betty -- the best choice -- going bad in her marriage to Archie. Veronica leaks a sex tape of their threesome, forcing Archie and Betty to make an appearance on The Tonight Show to respond to the question: 'What were you thinking?' To which Archie replies: 'Oops. We weren't thinking at all.' The audience laughs. Archie and Betty hold hands tightly and announce their plans -- like Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart have already done -- to have kids, start a family. The audience beams and we cut to a commercial."
Whether Archie will make the leap to the late-night talk show circuit remains to be seen. Still, Ebner insists it's about time America's longest-running comic boyfriend was updated. In this case, into a world with Suri Cruise, Angelina Jolie and TMZ, where there might not be any good girls -- only good girls gone bad."
READ ENTIRE STORY HERE: Montreal Gazette
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