BLAME CANADA: Paris Knows how to Pick 'Em - June 20, 2006

Now that Paris Hilton has taken her vow of celibacy on the Late Show, much fluff is being made about the professional skank's recent nightclub-to-hotel room rendezvous with the nearly-wed new dad, Canadian-born Colorado Avalanche goalie Jose Theodore...

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Avalanche goalie Jose Theodore thinks twice about
sucking down someone else's sloppies.
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"Meet Stanley"
The goalie moves Hilton's hand towards his protective cup.
...but while the prospect of Theodore tending to Hilton's gynecological goal gags gossip-garglers globally, of greater interest is the criminal history of Paris' future family ties.

In 1998, when Quebec police raided the Hells Angel headquarters near Montreal, they found photos of Theodore posing with the local drug lords.

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Jose Theodore and his bad boy biker buddies
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Ted Theodore leaves the courtroom
after his sentencing in Montreal.
(CP PHOTO/Ryan Remiorz)
Also, Jose's septuagenarian father Ted Theodore and half-brother Nicholas were gun-toting Canadian shylocks. In 2005, Ted and his son Nicholas were convicted on loansharking and weapons possession charges in Montreal and were fined over $50,000 between them. Over 50 other charges against the goalie's father were dropped as a result of a plea bargain, and Jose (who allegedly shared a bank account with his father) was said to have "stood behind" his mobbed-up old man and half-brother.

To complete the hat trick of intra-familial, Québecois criminality - the goalie's long time girlfriend (and mother of his child) is the daughter of convicted child sex abuser, Canadian music industry impresario, Guy Cloutier. The hockey star's current cooze, Stephanie Cloutier, is the unfortunate heiress to a pedophilic pedigree.

In 2004, Guy Cloutier was sentenced to 3 1/2 years in prison for sexually abusing his protégé, young singer Nathalie Simard and another juvenile. In 2005, while recovering from years of sexual abuse at the hands of Cloutier, Simard sued her attacker for $1.2 million.

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Guy Cloutier poses with his innocent victim,
young singer, Nathalie Simard
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Canadian justice served to Cloutier, sans castration.

Here, in her bizarre LiveJournal entry Stephanie Cloutier cops to her pop's sex crimes against children:

Hello. I am Stéphanie Cloutier, sister to the Québec singer/actress Véronique Cloutier and daughter of television producer and convicted sex offender, Guy Cloutier but we won't talk about that...

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Stéphanie stands by her man
There are the rest of us, your wives and girlfriends that stand by your side regardless of your actions. We're the ones that attend events and games with you. We wear your jerseys and cheer you on and when you fall we catch you and reassure you that everything will be ok. We pack up our lives to move with you as you travel from team to team and never complain about the inconvenience it places on us. We become part of your team by working with other hockey wives and girlfriends to do charity work and fund raising and why do we do this? We do these things for you, our men, to keep your image nice and shiny. Plus let's not forget the most important thing we do, we have your children. The thing that flushes out your otherwise perfect life and the one thing that no matter how much you love your boyfriend he'll never be able to give you.
Most troubling for Paris Hilton is this shocking disclosure of the goalie's jilted bang-tail's terrorist tendencies:
Some people refer to Jo and I as Montréal royalty and who am I to argue if they want to call me a queen, especially if they're caught hiding on our property with hidden cameras again and I can punish them with a swift beheading.
parisbra.jpg
Off with the head-mistress' head!



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Comments

that doesnt look like her live journal

Posted by: Anonymous at June 20, 2006 10:55 PM

Just an FYI, you should really check your sources before posting something as "Fact"...
Stéphanie Cloutier, does NOT have a LiveJournal account.
As written on the disclaimer on "her" page: "this journal is fake. what part of not real do you not understand!"
It goes on to say:
"The "celebrity" whose journal you read IS NOT THE ACTUAL CELEBRITY. The author/maintainer of that journal is a participant in a role playing game (RPG) where people portray adults in the entertainment industry (music, movies, TV, theater), adults in professional sports, child stars, children of famous parents, other relatives, friends, etc. of famous people, agents, managers, and other entertainment industry professionals, royalties, politicians, and socialites.


The journal is produced and written by a fan and is meant for entertainment purposes only. The thoughts contained in the journal are not those of the celebrity, nor are they meant to represent the actual thoughts, actions, lifestyle or image of the celebrity."

I do not agree with you posting information before verifying that it is in fact correct. It is misleading and unfair to Stéphanie Cloutier.

Thanx for reading.

Posted by: jenn at June 23, 2006 09:59 AM

if you click on your link, at the end it says I am NOT stephanie but I am a bitch like her... before posting you should read it all you morons

Posted by: Anonymous at June 23, 2006 12:53 PM

Tell me, what is the purpous of having these comments approved before posting, if it doesn't keep little kids from posting crap like this?

BTW, loved the story, I see Paris knows how to pick them.

Posted by: RagingBull at June 23, 2006 10:48 PM


ummmm... if you click the link on the "live journal" page it reads as follows:

The "celebrity" whose journal you read IS NOT THE ACTUAL CELEBRITY. The author/maintainer of that journal is a participant in a role playing game (RPG) where people portray adults in the entertainment industry (music, movies, TV, theater), adults in professional sports, child stars, children of famous parents, other relatives, friends, etc. of famous people, agents, managers, and other entertainment industry professionals, royalties, politicians, and socialites.


ie: not her writing.
the end.

Posted by: tobes at June 24, 2006 08:06 AM

You must really want to have sex with Paris Hilton.

Posted by: Jack [TypeKey Profile Page] at June 24, 2006 09:43 PM

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