Mark Ebner
Thursday September 18th 2014

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Paris Hilton Photo Caption Contest!

paristramp.jpg

I actually found this whorish Paris Hilton photo in a hotel in Beverly Hills over the weekend, and – although it’s obviously a never-before-published Paris pic – I had no idea what to do with it…until now…

Hollywood,Interrupted presents:
The 1st Annual (found) Paris Hilton Photo Caption Contest!

The rules are as simple as The Simple Life:
Post your caption in the comments section.
I will judge the entries based on humor and good taste.
The winner will receive a copy of Hollywood, Interrupted so don’t forget to leave your e-mail address. (Anonymous posters may send contact info under separate cover)
Contest ends when this shameless post scrolls off the page.

Have fun.

Reader Feedback

135 Responses to “Paris Hilton Photo Caption Contest!”

  1. chris says:

    “alright guys you know the rules, the line forms to the left.”

  2. Eric says:

    The blue “thing” in the middle has been stuffed more than the toy.

  3. Andy says:

    Recent allegations against Paris Hilton claim the multi-million dollar heiress is actually a malevolent demon hell-bent on Earth’s destruction. When asked for comment, Hilton disrobed and uttered a gutteral, animalistic growl.

  4. rob says:

    No, Tom Hanks’ mullet, don’t touch that! Don’t put that in your mouth, that’s dirty!

  5. Trog says:

    “Okay, is that wide enough? Not in my eye this time.”

  6. Melinda says:

    Paris vs PETA..

  7. Peksta says:

    To pretend she has a rack, Paris held her top as tight as possible.

  8. theantixenu says:

    Don’t you think I’d look good with a pearl necklace?

  9. john in san diego says:

    Don’t you think I’d look hot with a pearl necklace?

  10. lee says:

    I wonder if Mr. Hilton ever thinks his American Dream is becoming a nightmare.

  11. Booty says:

    Paris! Passing out like that could be confused as an invitation! And, No, Herpes isn’t airborne.

  12. Booty says:

    Paris! Passing out like that could be confused as an invitation. And, No, herpes isn’t airborne!

  13. Tammy says:

    “And for an additional one billion of your grandparents’ money, you can learn how to look like an under-dressed, over-tanned street-walker in expensive clothes. I will teach you all of my secrets of how to overdo the eye makeup, always take a photo with your mouth opened and how to be completely anorexic. But that’s not all!!! If you call now, I’ll also teach you how to become a strung-out, illiterate party-chaser and publicity whore!!!”

  14. GHB!? I thought you said gamma hydroxy…oh, nevermind.

  15. MJDollface says:

    “Who are you calling acerebral? Like you binge out on Cheerios every morning?”

  16. D.M. says:

    Paris Hilton – setting world speed records for Herpes transmission.

  17. Booty says:

    If you or a loved one finds oneself in a similiar situation then you might want to consider a 12 step program.

  18. Ricky Z says:

    Hello Mudder…
    Hello Fodder…
    Here’s a picture of me from Camp I’m a Whore

  19. Lou says:

    “Posted by: Nice Jerk at May 8, 2006 10:18 PM
    Snuffleupagus fired from Sesame Street after latest Paris Hilton sex-tape surfaces…”
    Don’t think there’s anything better than this..

  20. Ryne Whitehill says:

    I haven’t been fucked like that since gradeschool.

  21. tyler durden says:

    i want to have your abortion

  22. NewDirection says:

    Paris Hilton: I know, I know, I know and I’m asking myself that same question… Where is the double-sided dildo?

  23. EY says:

    Teen girl arressted after Madame Tussauds heist.

  24. Peter says:

    Directions
    Insert Penis around lips.
    Direcciones
    Insertar el pene alrededor de los labios.

  25. Scurvykat says:

    And in this exhibit, we see the dramatic effects of radiation, chemical ingestion and bizarre surgical procedures. Look closely at the strange ruddy glow of the skin, the pallid eyes, and the disfigured face. Notice how the hind parts are beginning to sprout an orange fur, and the facial features are twisted into some sort of demented stupor.

  26. Jack Hughes says:

    Did Harry Winston go down on Paris?

  27. Anonymous says:

    Anorexic, high and stupid is no way to go through life, Paris

  28. Dan StL says:

    Now serving … Next!
    or
    Serving footlongs … Next!

  29. subha dutta says:

    “Look!! they’re all over again— in search of an over fucked bitch-and who’s better than me?”

  30. Alex Peake says:

    Great, I’m sitting next to Paris Hilton.
    Don’t they have a shot for her yet?

  31. Jon Cole says:

    “I can’t believe this bow-wow next to me is trying to steal some of my spotlight!”

  32. Anonymous says:

    oh oh that opera pill was fantastic!

  33. Ryan says:

    ‘Following his recent sex change operation, Robert Downey Jr. has enlisted the help of Paris Hilton to master the art of the seductive gaze.’

  34. annonomys says:

    paris? I think shes just a woman that everyone has something to say about! Shes a whore?? How do we know way down in kentucky..

  35. N Rom says:

    I spilled Jägermeister in my eyes, its hot.

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